“We import ’em. You live with ’em.”
As seen on Channel 3 — 2 a.m. — against Channel 3’s wishes
Nobody has asked him to. Nobody has been able to stop him. Fifty-five years, one federal hearing, zero convictions that stuck — that's the Big Rick difference.
Every unit on this lot is inspected by Rick personally, which is a process where Rick looks at the monkey and the monkey looks at Rick and whatever passes between them is binding in this state. You will not find a cheaper monkey in the tri-county area. If you do find a cheaper monkey, it is a scam. Frankly, so is this — but ours is licensed.
Prices slashed. Cages open. One of these is a mistake and we don’t know which.
One owner — elderly, passed peacefully, unrelated, stop asking. Garage-kept. Runs on hate and grapes.
Aftermarket volume package — the neighbors WILL know what you bought. Great for security, divorce, or both.
Factory paint — ALL ORIGINAL, and buddy, the factory was showing off. Fast. Too fast. Ask about the fence package. You will need the fence package.
Sold as-is to a family park up the road. All grudges transfer with title — that’s the law and it’s also the warning. No returns. Please. No returns.
Repossessed. Then she repossessed us back. Currently runs our financing desk and, as of March, the beeper. Not for sale. She has made that clear.
NEW ARRIVAL. Taken on trade, no questions asked, which in hindsight was the whole problem. It is here. It is fine. Stop calling the tip line, the tip line is Susan.
Rick doesn’t check credit. Rick checks your eyes.
Dock 7, behind the port, past the sign that says DO NOT ENTER DOCK 7. That sign is for the competition.
| Mon–Fri | Open late |
| Saturday | Open early |
| Sunday | Church, then crimes of paperwork |
| When you arrive | Closed, historically |
| Beeper | Page Rick and wait by your phone like it’s 1987 |